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Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.However, creating this intimacy is hard work and much harder than the easy escapism of the internet or watching TV or even over-working or domestic chores.

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

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Buddy Chat was once a feature of AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) that let users chat with more than one person in either a pre-existing or user-created chatrooms.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

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