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It’ll be love at first sight, confirmed by a mumbled joke about the band we’re seeing or the bag of carrots one of us just dropped.

We’ll swap numbers and hit it off on a seamless first date that involves bread baskets, dim lighting, and stories about our families and jobs and hopes and dreams.

Social worker Barbara Golby gives advice for restoring confidence, setting expectations, and disclosing disease history and shares resources for cancer patients and survivors looking to jump into the dating scene.

Dating is exciting — but having cancer or having had cancer in the past can make the search for a relationship seem daunting. “Dating was hard and scary even before you had cancer, and all of those fears are probably still there after the cancer,” says Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical social worker Barbara Golby.

Some may find it important to share their experience; others would just as soon never bring up cancer again. Golby offers the following advice to help cancer patients and survivors answer some of the questions they may have about dating.

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